Grape Soda?

Not--Welchs

          Before I talk about these toys I'd like to say that I've grown up with Legos, as I'm sure many people have. I always liked the Space sets with all those neon pieces. I can' wait for the Lego movie Spaceship set to come out. As a kid I also had a bunch of the late-80's/90's Transformers. At ToyFair a few years ago when Hasbro announced a "Lego" toy-line, I was thrilled. Since then I've come to own nearly every Kreo Transformers release.
         Whats been missing from my collection is the (ignoring those "Battle Ship/Generic Alien+Ocean= Movie) Gi Joe collection. To be completely honest, I'm just not that big of a Joe fan. I never really watched the cartoon and I've had at one point maybe three figures. That being said, I was in TRU the other day and saw some blind-bags in the off-brand Lego isle. I went to pick up some of the Dungeons and Dragons figures (I love all random fantasy stuff), and picked up a Drizzt box and a blind-bag. As I walked out I saw some Joe kreons. My store has some of the most infrequent ship schedules. I hadn't seen any since wave 1. Wave 1 only lasted about a week before vanishing. Feeling like burning a hole in my pocket, I picked up three random bags and went home. What follows below is the result of my somewhat impulsive purchase.

3 GiJoe Blind-Bags

Backstory/Ramblings:

Brace yourselves, this section is gonna be a long one. Not one, but three... count'em three blind-bags are the feature. So to divide them up, lets go bad-guys first (they're always the coolest).

Original 1992

With giant ninja weapon

First-up is my favorite of the lot, "Cobra" Slice. This is also probably the most obscure as well. First released in 1992 as a part of the Ninja Force! (I feel like that should always be yelled in a similar manner to Ninjago!), and subsequently shown on the DIC cartoon (man am I glad that Cobra Commander design didn't stick). The character was revamped for the Valor vs Venom line in the early 2000's. One the show he was voiced by catch-all voice actor Scott McNeil. Here's the characters bio, ripped right off of the always 100% accurate Wikipedia: 

Slice is believed to be a renegade ninja from the Arashikage clan. He is considered Cobra's supreme swordsman. He doesn't know the more silent and subtle ways of the ninja, but he compensates for it with raw strength. His sword attack copies the attack patterns of the scorpions. He is seen, normally, wearing an uwagi with Cobra's emblem over ninja garbs, and he prefers driving the vehicle called "Cobra Parasite".

 I like Slice the most because if all else fails, he's the most generic out of the bunch and who doesn't need more ninjas?

Jaws of Death

Original 1986

Next is also my least favorite, Dreadnok Ripper. This Mad Max-like character isn't one that I would have picked up had I known it was in the bag (but the way I see it, looking at the codes would be cheating).  He does have a neat "jaws-of-life" device, but since he's "The Enemy" he probably puts the people into the cars. What I love about him though is his soda. I think that it's funny how such a rough and tough guy comes with something so random. When I looked it up I found out that the Dreadnok's love Doughnuts and grape soda? (I won't argue, I like those two but a combination might be best to avoid)

His real name is Harry Nod. Ripper was born in Grime Cape, Tasmania.
Ripper was so mean that he was expelled from nursery school for extorting candy from his schoolmates. He is a professional criminal who has spent most of his adult life in various correctional institutions, and is motivated by greed and a malign dislike for the niceties of civilization; he does love motorcycles, however. Ripper specializes in edged weapons and cutting tools, and is known throughout the swamps for using his blade like a cross between a fireman's axe and a can opener to unlock gates and crack safes.

Last up is the only Joe of the bunch--Snow Job. This is the Joe's equivalent to Aquaman. While he may switch up his niche to the Arctic, he seems to be just as useful. I mean the Joe's have the Flagg, Gun-Ho, and Shipwreck (who incidentally was one of my Joe's as a kid) to name a few of their sea advantages. But for the Arctic, there's just Snow Job and maybe like two other guys to help out  and they're are just variants. (Arctic Destro anyone?) While he's not my favorite, he does come with the best accessory- ski's. 

His real name is Harlan W. Moore, and his rank is that of staff sergeant E-6. Snow Job was born in West Rutland, Vermont.

Original 1984

Now including Whirl proportions!

Snow Job was a major Olympic Biathlon contender, who enlisted for the special training and support privileges that the Army gives to Olympic champions. It's been suggested that he got his nickname more from being a con artist, than from his primary military specialty on the arctic ski patrol. His secondary specialty is rifle instructor, and he is a qualified expert with all NATO long range sniper rifles, and the XMLR-3A laser rifle.^[1]
Unlike some of the other environment specialists on the G.I. Joe Team, Snow Job doesn't thrive on the cold, but he accepts that the chilly environments are the best place to showcase his incredible skills. He can ski down a steep slope, while picking off a target at 1,000 yards, and is considered one of the best marksmen on the team. While this allows his teammates to trust him with their lives in the thick of combat, no one wants to be on the receiving end of one of Snow Job's scams. Being conned by Snow Job has almost become a hazing ritual for new recruits. His scams are never outrageous, and he sees them as a way to keep his teammates perceptive and aware.

Everything Else:

Back-Printing!

For being made to interact with blocks, these guys have fairly good articulation. They have ball and socket movement at the shoulders and hips, and a swivel at the hips, wrists, and head. Of the three, Snow Job is the only one without back printing. I would recommend these to anyone that has been a fan of Joe's or just anything blind-bagged. Even if you aren't the biggest Joe fan, such as myself, these are still great little desk toys

A look with "Compatible Brands"

Where to Find:

Toys R Us 
Ebay